While summer vacation is a time of excitement and anticipation for children — whether they look forward to summer camp, extended playdates with their pals, or a chance to travel somewhere new (Disney, anyone?) — for co-parents, the summer months often present a unique set of challenges.
In our experience, these are the top co-parenting challenges we’ve witnessed during summer vacation. Our hope is that by identifying them, we can offer our co-parenting clients some practical solutions to keep the summer season as special and stress-free for your family as possible.
Scheduling conflicts
Summer signals a departure from the regular school-year routine, making it crucial for co-parents to plan and agree on a schedule well in advance. Conflicting work schedules, vacations, and children’s activities can quickly stack up into disagreements and distress.
We suggest creating a detailed summer schedule early on, including planned vacations, camp dates, and any special events. Use shared calendars or co-parenting apps to keep both parents informed and aligned. Flexibility and open communication are key in resolving any conflicts that arise.
ICYMI: check out our blog post, “Taking a Shine to Summer Vacation with these 7 Effective Co-parenting Strategies”
Travel and vacation plans
Disputes can easily arise over travel plans, especially if one parent wants to take the children on an extended trip. Issues such as notification, obtaining consent, and providing travel itineraries can become points of contention.
Make every effort to discuss travel plans as early as possible and provide your co-parent with all necessary information, including travel dates, destinations, and contact details. It’s also wise to review your custody agreement to ensure compliance with any travel-related clauses.
Financial disputes
Every parent knows that summer activities, camps, and vacations can add up quickly, leading to disputes over who should bear these expenses. This extra financial stress can be especially challenging if there isn’t a clear financial agreement in place for extracurricular activities.
Prioritize transparency and fairness in all financial matters. Review your parenting plan or custody agreement to understand financial responsibilities. If necessary, connect with your family attorney to clarify or modify the agreement so that it adequately addresses summer expenses. We do this all the time and would rather proactively position our co-parenting clients for success than wait until these small issues become big problems.
Different parenting styles
During summer vacation, differences in parenting styles may become more apparent, particularly regarding rules, routines, and discipline. These differences can confuse children and create tension between co-parents.
You might be fine with an occasional late night or two; your co-parent might insist on sticking with the bedtime established during the school year. Whatever the case, you could be setting your kids up to play favorites, which can lead to manipulation all around.
Instead, communicate openly about your parenting approaches and find common ground. Establish consistent rules and routines for the children, even if slight variations exist between households — and they will. Slight variations are to be expected; ultimately, consistency helps children feel secure and reduces confusion between all of you.
Balancing time
Ensuring that both parents have equitable quality time with their children during the summer can be difficult. Children may also express preferences that can complicate arrangements.
Strive for a balanced schedule that allows both parents to enjoy meaningful time with the children. Consider the children’s preferences but ensure that time is distributed fairly. Regularly reassess and adjust the schedule if needed to maintain balance and fairness.
Emotional stress
The change in routine and the potential for conflict can be emotionally stressful for both parents and children, particularly when you consider that children may feel torn between parents or anxious about new arrangements.
You and your co-parent can get around this by prioritizing the emotional well-being of your children by maintaining a positive and supportive attitude. Encourage open dialogue and reassure them that both parents love and support them. Co-parents should also seek support from friends, family, or a counselor to manage their own stress.
Legal complexities
Navigating custody agreements and legal requirements is stressful at the best of times. Attempting to do so during summer vacation can feel even more fraught, especially if modifications or special permissions are needed, as in the case of international travel, for example.
We are standing by to make sure you understand your rights and obligations. If modifications to the custody agreement are necessary, we can help ensure that any changes are properly documented and enforceable. No matter the season, remember that we’re only a phone call away and invite you to contact us anytime!
