Whether you delight in or dread the holidays, co-parenting can certainly complicate the season. Adjusting to your new normal involves coordinating schedules and balancing traditions, all while somehow keeping the holiday special for the kids. At the very least, you’re looking at extra planning and communication.
This is where your co-parenting plan comes into play, provided it adequately addresses the holidays. In addition to a comprehensive co-parenting plan, we’ve found the following tips will take you far when it comes to celebrating Thanksgiving in peace.
Be the early bird.
One of the best ways to keep Thanksgiving running smoothly is to start planning well in advance. Reach out to your co-parent early in the fall to discuss potential plans and schedules for the holiday season. This proactive approach allows both parties to share their ideas and concerns, minimizing misunderstandings or last-minute conflicts. Plus, early planning gives you both a chance to prepare the kids, so they know what to expect and can look forward to the celebrations.
Don’t miss our blog post, ‘Tis the Season for Splitting Up
Set a schedule you both agree with.
Decide on how to divide the holiday time. Some families choose to alternate years, where the children spend Thanksgiving with one parent one year and the other parent the next. Others may split the day itself, allowing kids to have lunch with one parent and dinner with the other. If travel between homes is required, keep logistics manageable by planning for enough time between visits so that everyone can transition smoothly. Be mindful of the kids’ comfort; less shuffling can often mean a more relaxing day for them. And, frankly, for you too!
Focus on flexibility and gratitude.
As we’re sure you already know, co-parenting plans don’t always go as expected, whether there’s a special occasion in the mix or not. For this reason, flexibility is key. Embracing a positive attitude and being adaptable can make a big difference. Letting go of rigid expectations and focusing on the spirit of this particular holiday—gratitude and togetherness—can create a more relaxed atmosphere for everyone. If you run into unexpected hurdles, approach them as a team and keep the kids’ best interests front and center. Model gratitude and positive energy; take time to appreciate the ways your co-parent contributes to making Thanksgiving special, even if your relationship has its challenges. When kids see parents cooperating and expressing appreciation, it reinforces the holiday’s spirit of gratitude and helps them feel secure and loved.
Speaking of the kids…
Keep the kids in the conversation.
Co-parenting means that holiday plans often change from year to year, so make sure the kids are informed about what they can expect. Explain the plan in a simple, positive way, focusing on what they’ll enjoy about the day. Encourage them to share any ideas or feelings they have, too. Expect that they might experience mixed emotions about dividing time between two households and be prepared to acknowledge these feelings by way of reassurance and support.While we wish you the best this holiday season, we know that even the strongest co-parenting plans can crumble. If you find yourself in need of a revised co-parenting plan or divorce support, we invite you to contact us anytime. Happy Thanksgiving!